Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Back slapping

ES has written a little in the past about the media old boys’ network. Every industry has one, but greasing is particularly rife in ad land.

For fear of getting into hot water over this thorny subject I’ll keep this post short and sweet. Ahhh, who am I kidding, the slimy media dinosaurs involved are too technically incompetent to read anything online, let alone know what a blog is, so ES remains in safety. They are too busy slurping red wine, chortling loudly and slapping each other on the back to take notice.

This is an issue that has been in the news recently as anti corruption laws come into force next year. Nobody seems to know what this will mean for the media industry. Will long lunches be canned? No more jollies? Not a chance! There is no way that any of this will be able to be enforced, so all of the concerned parties can rest assured they will still be able to tuck into a prawn sandwich or two in 2011.

See if you can distinguish between the things which have really been witnessed by ES in the industry and lies:
  • Exchanging a media booking directly for a gift (£600 equivalent value)
  • Agencies refusing to see media owners unless they bring gifts.
    Lies lies porky pies



    Volume deals (these are surely corruption, as companies make decisions based on financial gain, not client benefit).
  • Agencies refusing to see media owners for lunch unless they upgrade the type of restaurant.
  • Agencies ringing up different media owners asking for tickets for events at the weekend.
  • Partners being allowed on skiing or foreign jollies. In what way is this for ‘business’?
  • Inventing imaginary clients to enable drinks to be expensed.
  • Old Acquaintances being given large contracts with no merit.
  • Seats booked at charity galas / dinners when the business has no affiliation with the charity.
  • Free media space given to friends at a cost to the business

(In the voice of Alan Partridge) – “I can tell you you’re wrong. They have all happened”

Executives are rarely the losers from such exchanges. We pick up the scraps such as chance encounters with Alf Stewart from Home and Away, Premier Tickets to Monster in Law II the revenge, and free promotional packs of Sanex unisex shower gel. Who can’t be happy with that little lot?
It is unfortunately the moral fabric of media executives that take a real pasting. In a short space of time, bright eyed graduates are turned into embittered, burnt out poor excuses for humans grabbing at anything they can. Every action must have a reward, and nothing is worth getting out of bed for . . . unless it comes gift wrapped.

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, and by the goose I mean the media industry.
n.b. The media industry is unlikely to by killed, roasted and eaten as the goose will be.