Tuesday, 30 November 2010

On the dot 2

Executive Summary hates lazily using these cheesy stock images. But what are you going to do about it eh?
A quick piece on timekeeping today after a combination of snow, trains and sleepiness contributed towards this normally punctual executive arriving for work 30 minutes late.
As we work longer each week in the office, hours are becoming more and more flexible. However, in a heavily trade driven business like media, there is still a strong 9 to 5 (thirty) 'on the dot' culture.

Whilst it is never easy to arrive perfectly on time every day, executives should at least try. It’s just that punctuality is not respected any more. Mobile phones have opened the door for excuses such as ‘I’m busy and running a little late’, when before these electronic comfort blankets were around, schedules HAD to be kept, and timings adhered to.
Office workers are picking up irksome habits as their jobs and functions become increasingly short term. They won’t come to meeting until you ring them down from their office as ‘they didn’t know if it was still on’, and upon giving deadlines people immediately assume they are falsely early ones.

Nothing can be scheduled at 9am or 2pm as people need at least half an hour to think up excuses for why they are late settle into work.

Executive Summary's favourite excuses heard for being late:

Don't be the boy who cried
'Wolf'. This man has been
out of work since 2004 and will
 probably respond to your call

The kids are ill – where is the proof? The truant inspectors will be around to see  little Johnny later.
  • Broken Boiler– never rely on workmen, take an adult education course in plumbing, it will be quicker.
  • Doctors appointment – health is always a thorny issue so maybe I shouldn’t go here. Upon hearing ‘being late’ excuses Executive Summary often suffers from an extremely itchy chin and is going to see a specialist next week.
Bike puncture: This is a fairly solid excuse. However, the minute you use the excuse when it is not true you will become the boy who cried Wolf.

Car wouldn’t start – this moderately priced Jetpack has been available to purchase since March 2010. I struggle to see why anyone drives anymore to be honest. (see video below)

Alarm failure – As Kramer said on Seinfeld, don’t rely on Alarm clocks. The best one is your natural sense of time. Throw your alarm clock away and it will take you three days to start waking up in a cold sweat and blind panic at 6 a.m. Perfect.

Problem with keys / clothes / pets or other inanimate objects – Mobile phones have applications and ways to somehow solve all of these problems.

Broken Mobile phone (or Jetpack) – there is no solution to this. Simply resign, your only hope now lies with the National Lottery.

Finally, how late do you have to be to apologise on a normal office day? 15 minutes at least right? It may be the pot calling the kettle black based on today’s performance, but this executive’s punctuality has never been commended or resulted in financial gain during a 5 year career. In fact, those who roll in at 9:10-9:15 every day are garnering around £800 per year in salary for the time they aren’t at work. In today’s workplace, can we live our lives by the clock? I don’t see why not.

It’s time for my 4:29pm daily coffee.

Signing off.