Calm before the storm

Welcome to Friday, as office workers around the country think about what wine they will choose tonight and what they are getting up to at the weekend, Executive Summary returns in serious mode. And no, it’s not just because I’ve had my yearly review.

With the month of DecemParty fast approaching, the end of November prompts executives to start considering what the New Year holds in store. After all, we won’t be able to remember much of what happens in the month of gluttony and wild spending.



The financial and bodily detox of January is a sobering thought, and something must be done to motivate executives for another year in media.

November is often when budgets are finalised and reviews completed, so employees minds turn to the promised financial reward for their year’s exploits.


November, not just a month for growing moustaches



Whilst the country has been out of its recession for nearly one year now, companies have not been a speedy in passing on the good fortune to their work force. It obviously pays to remain cautious, but companies in all industries (not just media), are stalling on increasing costs as they wait for the market to recover further.

The recruitment industry, crippled by the recession, is now picking up again, and wise executives are considering their options. Two years worth of stagnant (or even decreasing) pay in real terms may make for a tasty January pay rise given the right role.

The recession allowed quite rightly for businesses to cut costs without too much justification. However, one year on normality has not resumed, and companies are still only looking at the small picture, one week at a time. Those with mortgages and families are still clinging to their jobs petrified with fear that they could lose them. Those higher up the chain have been made to work harder for less reward. It is the lack of transparency in policy and company results that perpetuates this fear with the use of terms like:

‘We’ll have to wait and see how the market pans out’
‘When things recover a little’
‘Strenuous times’
‘Budget freeze’

Companies are using employees' fear against them to increase profitability. If the communication on company performance and budgets were clearer, people simply wouldn’t be scared. They would be able to make informed decisions about their position, their salary and their careers.

The situation stinks, and is not a good way to break for Christmas. Just throwing a few bottles of wine down our necks at Christmas won’t make us forget about it.

Oh no wait

. . . 

 I did say I would forget what happens in DecemParty because of all the boozing.

Oh dear.

Maybe this Executive should start keeping a notebook, or log of all the office based happenings . . .

The sales conference - day one

Pictures a worth one thousand words.

Added to this, this executive does not have the time or the inclanation to type up the full conference experiece.  It will be far to harrowing for the author and readers of this blog.

If you have been on a sales conference, then hopefully the pictures will conjour up images of jolly jaunts into the sea at 4 a.m, run ins with bouncers, drugs, sex, rock and roll and erm . . . PowerPoint. Yeah!

If you haven't been, then rest assured this was true Brits-abroad behaviour, and not one of those tame American conferences held at a hotel in Pittsburgh or Minneapolis with a 3 hours awkward 'partay' were people in suits writhe around attempting to dance.

All people in these pictures are not real people. They are robots created for the purposes of explaining a sales conference experience in picture form. All photos are directed and shot by myself. These robots are dangerous. Do not attempt to contact them as they could use their robot powers (including laser eyes) to melt your brain.

Day 1:

If anyone is wondering, yes, Dirk Kuyt was on our Sales Conference.

Bad ads #7

A double entry this week. What a bonus!

The copy writing is attrocious. 'Diss is the cat's whiskers' - eh?

Small marketing companies must try harder to communicate their messages. And yes, the irony that I have cut this classified add out of the back of a magazine, and scanned it in is not lost on me. Clearly, I noticed it, but I needed to show it to you in my rogues gallery.

Stampede!

Working in Soho has some benefits. The random events in the square, the proximity to good restaurants and shops, and of course the free samples.

Now all offices get given the odd free sample, you know, the kind designed to get you hooked on chewing gum, or more interested in porridge. Yet it seems that those of us in ad-land are bombarded by them. ‘Try them out on the cool kids, they’ll spread the word’

What is interesting is how free food changes the rational thought process of those in the office. People on £50k+ salaries elbow each other out of the way to get to their pot of yogurt.
Designers grab five to give to their mates – ‘that’ll make me cool, people respect yogurt’.

The funniest part of it all is that samples tend to come in mid morning, or mid afternoon and are instantly devoured by non-hungry workers. People who have just stuffed in a morning sandwich or a sit-down lunch get straight into their sample hungry or not. At least save it for lunch people, we have a fridge!

Never look a gift horse in the mouth, but sometimes things are free for a reason.

The art of self promotion

Facebook has revolutionised the way people interact. This seems like an obvious statement to make, but becoming an online entity has led people to think about how they are perceived.

When people start to publicise their lives through updates, pictures and links, they have to think about the basic principles of marketing.

Who is my audience?
How can I reach them with relevance?
Privacy issues, who can see my messages?
How can my audience interact with me?

It is not just Facebook though. The explosion in Social networking opportunites has led to a once brilliantly simple way of promoting yourself to become a fragmented mess.

To this executive, it seems as though the history of the internet can be summed up like this:

Web 1.0 - Hard to use – not enough content
Web 2.0 – Easy to use – Big web brands and site aggregators
Web 3.0 – Hard to use – Too much great content

We always think that if we subscribe to enough newsletters, visit Digg, Youtube, B3ta and news sites enough we can catch up with the myriad of entertainment and content there is on the web. It’s that constant fear of missing out on something great. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

I came across footballfilter.com recently. It is a site which aggregates all major football content providers in one simple screen. Whilst this is a great site, it is frighteningly large and makes me realise how we need our defined and narrow opinions. You can’t afford the time for a balanced view any more, we stick to sites you know and trust.

Wouldn’t it be great to have a guide to the internet based on your interests and personality?

What are your hobbies?
Your political stance?
The issues you care most about?

. . . well then these sites are for you.
Here’s a guide of the best newsletters for each field of your interest, and the best site aggregators.

Ironically, the only place this could be published is on the fast changing environment that everyone has access to. When it was published, it is unlikely that anyone could find it and it would be hell of finding great ways to publicise it.

Ladies and Gentlemen – “The internet”

So what is it you do?

There comes a time in every Executives life where you have to explain what you do for a living.

We are all guilty of not really caring what people do (past the initial description). This is especially true if you deign to be something other than a teacher, fireman, or something equally simple to understand.

However, it is only when you fully immerse yourself in just one of the thousands of job industries out there, that you appreciate how small a cog everyone is. I always feel sorry for fresh faced teenagers and graduates clinging onto the dream that one of the 10 jobs they know anything about will be the perfect match for them. I say that because I once was one.

When people ask me what I do for a living, however my times I’ve had to do it, it never gets any easier. It should be easy when you work in a fast paced cool industry like advertising, right? Jobs always get less interesting from the initial description. For example, you start by saying:

‘I work in advertising’
‘Oh cool’ they reply’

If the conversation stopped there you would be cool. That guy who works in advertising, he was cool. I don’t know what he does but its probably something pretty awesome. People are just too inquisitive though.

‘So what do you do in advertising’

What comes next for any executive isn’t pretty:
Planning, sales, spreadsheets, marketing, typesetting, reports . . . whatever it is.

Unless you reply by saying that you wrote, directed, acted in and scheduled that funny TV ad they like, the split second of limelight on you, the executive, has vanished.

My advice? Don’t humour the inquisitive. Just stick to your guns, guns which fire bullets of vague descriptions and lies.

Well at least I don’t work in a job so boring just the first syllable gives people the uncontrollable urge to shut down and black out - A gravel technician, a soft drink dispenser maintenance operative, a recruitment consultant (someone who spends their whole career watching others fulfil their career dream), or maybe a parking attendant.

I guess this raises an interesting question, what is the most boring job in Britain? Surely it couldn’t be one in the world of media?