Monday, 21 June 2010

Soldier on

Executive ailments, there are so many of them.

Those of importance (Directors et al), tend to have less time and less inclination to think about imaginary illnesses, and exaggerated bodily woes.

We all get ill from time to time. You are reading the ramblings of an executive who took their first ever sick days last year. Once you stay at home to recover from a virus (or bad case of man-flu), you realise that it is often better to recuperate, rather than grind yourself down by continuing as if you are not under the weather.

These 'Executive Pains' can be put into two categories:

Firstly the in office ailments:
Halitosis, Headache, sickness, dizziness, tiredness.

These are for the most part entirely fabricated to gain sympathy or relieve boredom. All can be cured with a glass of water and a five minute break from the screen. It's not that all office workers are hypochondriacs, but feeling less than perfect is yet another welcome distraction from the monotony.

The second category of illnesses are more serious, and often need setting up a day early, like a looping ally-oop basketball pass ready for the slam-dunk of a day off.

Having been sick - has no after effects unless the executive is actually ill, so no reason to stay off.
Migraine - jumped up headache
Food poisoning - not real unless fluids are gushing from both ends.
Stomach bug - dickie tummy. Toughen up by training it with chillies.
Diarrhoea - The all time classic that is so embarrassing the powers that be daren't ask any more questions.
Back problems - one of those things that older people say - 'always look after your back'

An old boss of mine once strolled into work at 12:30pm and simply declared 'What? . . . I was drunk!'
The director was so shocked at the honesty that no punishment, or even ticking off, was forthcoming!

I'm not sure what my point is here, maybe I'm just bitter that some people feel it is OK to take more time off as employers owe them. This executive adopts the 'Soldier on' approach, that may show favourably on your report card, but usually goes unnoticed.