Tuesday, 20 July 2010

The management team

I'm 50!

50, in terms of posts! Please congratulate me by way of monetary compensation for your enjoyment of my office based ramblings. If you don't enjoy reading and feel you are owed money back, this is also acceptable. Just let me know why you think the posts suck, and how much you are owed.

Is everyone getting sick of the horrendously corporate pictures I've been using?

Yes? Well you've been very quiet about it. Any abuse is welcome, I've even got buttons for it underneath the posts.

Obviously, the pictures are supposed to be ironic. The very encapsulation of everything that Executives dislike and are fighting against. I would like to make it clear that the use of said horrendous images is certainly not the product of an Executive's lazy searching on Google images.


This monstrosity of a mock US boardroom is supposed to represent the higher level management team in every Executive's office.
Most companies have an international management level, that Executives have little to know knowledge about.

Not only are these management structures incredibly complicated, but junior office bods baulk at even trying to comprehend what goes on up there. Up there in the rareified air of the upper floors of the evil media towers.

Managing Directors
Vice Presidents
Regional presidents
Chief Strategy Officers
Non-Executive Directors

These are all fairly indistinguishable titles of people who spend 60% of their time on a plane going to strategy meetings. In fact, I wonder if business would run smoother if it wasn't international. These bigwigs would be able to answer emails, write reports and do some actual work!

One thing that I have noticed about this slippery lot, is that they like to invent projects. In my workplace, the following secret projects have been created within the last 24 months.

Project Nero
Project 10
Project Clarity
Project Oxygen
Project Inspired
Project Max

Whilst these projects are supposed to be completely secret, I can exclusively reveal that one of the aforementioned projects was created with the sole intention of creating names for other secret projects.

Thinking about it, I could have used a better picture. Like one of a spy creating a secret project, or George Clooney in 'Up in the air' racking up those points on American Airlines. I think a part of me enjoys cringing at the stock business photography. It's reassuring to know that some offices are even more wanky than your own.