8:59 - Arrive at work, take your seat for a minute and put down your bag. Switch on your computer
9:00 - Take a look around and smugly make a mental note of who has not made it in on time.
9:01 - Get changed into work shoes and clothes, smarten up, get ready.
9:05 - 9:15 - Breakfast time - cereal and milk, or if hungover / greedy go to the sandwich shop for grease.
9:15 - 9:30 - Coffee and check emails. If there is nothing un-toward or urgent continue at your leisurly pace.
9:30 - 9:45 - Discussion time. Since the death of real-time TV, you can't discuss what you watched on the telly 'last night'. Everyone watches DVDs, Sky+ or on demand TV. Other discussion topics include what you cooked for dinner, if you did anything interesting after 5:30pm, and how much sleep you got.
9:45 - Wonder why you spent 15 minutes of your life discussing monotonous, soporific domestic details. Exlaim how tired you are!
9:46 - 10:00 - Personal admin. Sort out your new phone contract / pesky bank account fail. Exlaim how little money you have left even though payday was last week!
10:00 - 10:10 - Shop run. Take orders and money from colleagues. Garner respect by getting off your bum to purchase confectionary for your lazier colleagues.
10:10 - 10:30 - Play the I-like game
10:30 - 11:40 - WebWatch. Rack up your favourite sites to keep up to date with all that important news and comment (mostly Sports related).
11:40 - 12:00 - Take a well earned coffee break. Appear kind and considerate to your workmates as you warm their cockles with hot beverages. More i-like discussions
12:00 - 12:20 - Exlaim how hungry you are! Discuss lunch options with colleagues, to Sandwich or to Sushi?
12:20 - 12:45 - WebWatch and check emails.
12:45 - 12:59 - Fire out a few emails that need to be dealt with before lunch. Mentally prepare yourself for the gruelling working afternoon ahead.
- - - - - - - LUNCH - - - - - - -
That was a weight off my shoulders. I feel like I have finally put pay to the naysayers who claim that I don't do any work.