Thursday, 16 September 2010

Family mix up

When at work for around half of our waking hours, us Executives often get a little mixed up. We get our priorities wrong.

Executives often treat family members like work colleagues. We fire off business-like emails dealing with birthday presents and family events, whilst putting in a ‘quick call’ as you walk to the station.

My years in the office have also thrown up the interesting paradox that we often treat our bosses like a family member. A complete role reversal.

So check the list below and work out which category you fall into:

My boss is my Mum – They are a source of comfort and will always be worried about how much work I have on. They are very protective and will often say silly things that get them in trouble.

My boss is my Mum . . .but I don’t like them because I’m a teenager. They are always making me look bad because they are so embarrassing. They never give me what I want which is so unfair. They treat me like a baby who can’t do any important work, but I can do everything.

My boss is my Dad – Strict, and straight down the line. They are firm but fair. If I work hard and produce quality I will be rewarded. However, they will be the first to drop me in it with senior management if I do something wrong. You always know where you stand, but watch out, you don’t want to get grounded as it will take a while for them to trust you again.

My boss is my Granddad – They are behind the times, but have some pretty cool experience. I get tired of trying to teach them new tricks and how to work technology, if they can’t learn then what’s the point?

My boss is my family pet – I’ll go and seek them out if there is something that I want, but when it comes to feeding and walkies, I’ll get someone else to do it. Sometimes they can praise you and be loyal, but if you don’t have insurance you could get stung by big vet fees (lots of work). Wow, I really went to town on that metaphor.

My boss is my twin – I am exactly the same as them. We are best friends in and out of work which makes it a bit awkward when they have to act like my boss, you know, be all official and set me targets and stuff. It’s like they’re not really my boss, we are equal and share our work and rewards. We are always chatting on Facebook and love going for drinks together at the weekend.

My boss is my younger sister – They don’t know what they are doing. They get everything wrong because they are so stupid. They don’t even know how to spell stupid. They are smelly, but they are senior management’s favourite because they always smile sweetly.

My boss is my older brother – We compete over anything for no real reason. We have full blown arguments about stuff because we are so passionate about our work. It’s not fair that they get to do all the ordering around just because they are a few years older.

I am an orphan – I am my own boss. This means that I can do whatever the hell I want, but no-one takes me seriously as I don’t manage anyone.

So, see anything of yourself in here? It’s time to go, I’ve got office drinks with my father’s brother, then I’m going to put a quick call into grandma to tell her I’m not able to make that 10:30 meeting.